Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
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