I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
