and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
My apartment stinks of burning failure
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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