The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
