Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
