ya dads aren't the best wingmen
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
