I just made out with a guy for $7.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
