woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
where am i from again
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
