it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
