It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
