I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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