Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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