The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
