You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
