he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
