I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
