and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
