it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Your cock deserves a montage
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
