I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
