They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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