so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
