I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
