the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
