Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
