I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
And then he peed in my hair
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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