Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
