they need to just BURY HIM!
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
