I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize