how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
