I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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