Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Randomize
