There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
