Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
it's great music for shaving your balls
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Do you have feelings for this penis?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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