this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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