I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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