I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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