so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
