wat bout pragnant strippers??
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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