im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
