drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
