woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
