hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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