As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
