So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
It's blow job season.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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