i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
