Have you finally orgasmed yet?
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Randomize
