We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
