she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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