Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
