if i can run in heels then i can drive
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
