I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
