just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
