He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
