i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
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