Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
