Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
