I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Randomize
