your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Everclear isn't food dammit
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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